drinking from the fire hose

There is a huge part of my life that I have barely even mentioned here and that is my work as a paraprofessional and instructional assistant. Surprisingly (and wonderfully) the new school year sees me back in the same classroom that I spent most of last year in...the same one I wrote letters to while we were traveling.

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I have been there for almost a year now all told and I have sat down so many times to try to write about it. Yet, even after many attempts, I find myself unsatisfied with the words I've tried to put to it.

How can I write about an experience that feels like five parts drinking from a hose and five parts exactly what I've always been meant to do? How can I convey the excitement of our sticky-note alphabet scavenger hunt and the looks on their faces when they find the matching letter on the board? How do I put words to the day that he walked through the door in the morning beaming, walked from class to class in calm, confident of his safety, and held up his completed star chart with pride rushing through his little body? Or the day where he came to school still charged with fear from the night before and screamed his way through the hallways? How can I communicate that both of those days were beautiful because I got to be a part of them? 

I myself am still discovering the facets of this experience, and working to figure out how to explain it to myself. Every day is a new challenge, a new moment of growth, a new frustration, a new unexpected joy. 

Suffice it to say that feel joy in this place even when I don't feel happiness and that is a gift and an blessing that I do not take for granted.